Can’t wait to read the book! This is so beautifully penned.
It’s inspired me to write down how I feel about my parents - realised I’ve never articulated my gratitude towards them in writing ever. So thank you ❤️
Thank you so much, Abdul. Your encouragement and blessings truly mean a lot. I’m sure your parents were incredibly proud to see their sons living the life their sacrifices made possible, even if it meant loving you all from afar. Thank you for sharing your story — it really touched me. Sending lots of love from India.
life is so weird, i stumbled across this essay while going through the same process: an eldest desi daughter taking a year-long sabbatical to write her book.
there are so many layers of shame and guilt and fiery-red-junoon that comes with traveling and picking writing over other very lucrative things, but you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Your writing is rich and interesting and will evolve into the language that finishes your first book. I know it. Thank you for hitting send, I loved reading this piece.
Good luck sweetie, I really hope we make it through x
Such a small world! Thank you so much for your kind words and hope your book is going well too. More power to you for taking the jump too. I know it can be disorienting but is definitely worth it.
can relate to this too somewhat, nishad, this is an amazing post. what you've explored here is a really common phenomenon across many asian countries where love is expressed not through words or overtness but by actions and/or silence that is invisible yet fills the space so abundantly that as kids we don't even know is there. i'm sure you experience it in hindi too, but we never say "i love you" in indonesian or chinese or pretty much any other asian mother tongue aside from a poorly written drama series such that when my parents, who dont speak very much english want to express love, they say so in english. i don't think i'm brave enough to drop what I'm doing and go on a sabbatical like you have -- I don't know if my parents would be as supportive as your aai and baba were -- though perhaps you had those same worries when the thought of quitting your job first passed your mind and maybe they've subverted it? regardless, this is a great piece and i'm glad you shared it and glad that i've read it. love from sydney, mate!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Sav, and sorry it’s taken me a while to get back to you. Absolutely agree on the lack of a vocabulary to say “I love you” in my mother tongue, and I’ve also only ever heard my parents say it in English, so it’s interesting you’ve found the same.
On my worries before telling them about the sabbatical, yes, I did feel it, although I also was sure they’d eventually come around to it (which I am grateful for). Lots of love from Delhi (my current spot on the trip)!
Nice one. As someone whose aai and baba also support my crazy dream of quitting and building this really resonated. Hard to put the gratefulness in words - I'm impressed by how well you did it.
So beautiful Nishad! I missed my Aai and Baba through reading this. You’re so spot on about not staying silent anymore. It’s a different kind of freedom in expressing those 30+ years of unsaid thank yous…
Beautifully written. I especially like the closing paragraph. Sometimes distances within family feel harder to traverse than miles of road ahead of you.
I read something about context. How much of South Asian/Asian communication is via context. Not true in the west. Context is dissected, labeled and described... and not allowed to relax or breath.
Absolutely! The contextual vs “objective” distinction is very real. As an example, most Eastern philosophies state that even principles are context-based, whereas in the West principles are often upheld context-free.
Thank you for sharing. I love reading about parents being their children's biggest cheerleaders and friends that will go the distance for their people!
Love this Nishad, very glad you shared it. Enjoy having your amazing friends with you ❤️
Aww thank you so much Jilly. Yes, it’s been very fun to have them here 🥰
Beautifully put Nishad ..thanks for sharing this ❤️❤️
Thank you so much! 🥰
Sooooooo beautifully said !!!!! They really are the sandwiched generation. Love it. Your writing is amazing. Cant wait for your book!! All the best x
Thanks so much Samica. Made my day! 😍
Can’t wait to read the book! This is so beautifully penned.
It’s inspired me to write down how I feel about my parents - realised I’ve never articulated my gratitude towards them in writing ever. So thank you ❤️
Thanks so much Dravisha, that means a lot. And I’m so happy it’s pushed you to articulate the gratitude you have towards your parents too :)
Wow. So precise and accurate and what a wonderful way you have of putting together your feelings.
Ive no doubt that you will finish that book, given how you express yourself here. A brilliant author in making. Good luck.
I am two generations ahead of you but you are spot on. It’s so thoughtful of you to appreciate your parent’s sacrifices.
Sadly mine spent all their 3 sons to England and spent their old age alone in India.
Thank you so much, Abdul. Your encouragement and blessings truly mean a lot. I’m sure your parents were incredibly proud to see their sons living the life their sacrifices made possible, even if it meant loving you all from afar. Thank you for sharing your story — it really touched me. Sending lots of love from India.
Thanks so much Abdul, that means a lot! Made my day.
This is such a nice post. Thank you for writing it. Happy anniversary to your parents!
Thanks so much Shruthi. Glad it resonated with you.
life is so weird, i stumbled across this essay while going through the same process: an eldest desi daughter taking a year-long sabbatical to write her book.
there are so many layers of shame and guilt and fiery-red-junoon that comes with traveling and picking writing over other very lucrative things, but you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Your writing is rich and interesting and will evolve into the language that finishes your first book. I know it. Thank you for hitting send, I loved reading this piece.
Good luck sweetie, I really hope we make it through x
Such a small world! Thank you so much for your kind words and hope your book is going well too. More power to you for taking the jump too. I know it can be disorienting but is definitely worth it.
can relate to this too somewhat, nishad, this is an amazing post. what you've explored here is a really common phenomenon across many asian countries where love is expressed not through words or overtness but by actions and/or silence that is invisible yet fills the space so abundantly that as kids we don't even know is there. i'm sure you experience it in hindi too, but we never say "i love you" in indonesian or chinese or pretty much any other asian mother tongue aside from a poorly written drama series such that when my parents, who dont speak very much english want to express love, they say so in english. i don't think i'm brave enough to drop what I'm doing and go on a sabbatical like you have -- I don't know if my parents would be as supportive as your aai and baba were -- though perhaps you had those same worries when the thought of quitting your job first passed your mind and maybe they've subverted it? regardless, this is a great piece and i'm glad you shared it and glad that i've read it. love from sydney, mate!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Sav, and sorry it’s taken me a while to get back to you. Absolutely agree on the lack of a vocabulary to say “I love you” in my mother tongue, and I’ve also only ever heard my parents say it in English, so it’s interesting you’ve found the same.
On my worries before telling them about the sabbatical, yes, I did feel it, although I also was sure they’d eventually come around to it (which I am grateful for). Lots of love from Delhi (my current spot on the trip)!
Nice one. As someone whose aai and baba also support my crazy dream of quitting and building this really resonated. Hard to put the gratefulness in words - I'm impressed by how well you did it.
Good luck and may we make our parents proud.
Thanks so much Adi. And great to hear your Aai and Baba supported you in your creative pursuits too.
So beautiful Nishad! I missed my Aai and Baba through reading this. You’re so spot on about not staying silent anymore. It’s a different kind of freedom in expressing those 30+ years of unsaid thank yous…
Thanks so much Geetanjali. Yes, it felt like a weight lifted once I put it down in writing / said it aloud.
This is beautifully expressed Nishad
Thank you so much Shubha!
Beautifully written. I especially like the closing paragraph. Sometimes distances within family feel harder to traverse than miles of road ahead of you.
Thanks so much Rahma — and absolutely, it’s so true. They are some of the most meaningful journeys too.
Great writing!
Thank you so much!
Beautiful, heartfelt writing ❤️
Thank you 🤩
Beautiful, this heart is why I love India so
Thanks so much!
I read something about context. How much of South Asian/Asian communication is via context. Not true in the west. Context is dissected, labeled and described... and not allowed to relax or breath.
Absolutely! The contextual vs “objective” distinction is very real. As an example, most Eastern philosophies state that even principles are context-based, whereas in the West principles are often upheld context-free.
This seems like trying to make the relative absolute? i.e. the context-free
Thank you for sharing. I love reading about parents being their children's biggest cheerleaders and friends that will go the distance for their people!
Thank you Jackie!